17 March 2007

Why I Will Never Teach Writing to Kids

My wife and I are in a nationally branded bookstore over our lunch hour, just picking up a hot chocolate. Amy wants to go to the children's book section to look for the availability of a certain book for one of our kids.

I meet her up there, beverage in hand. She's thumbing through the book.

"It drives me crazy," she notes, "that every time someone speaks in this author's books, it's always 'said,' 'said,' said.' Never anything else."

"That's one of the hardest things," I muse. "Coming up with other words besides 'said.'"

"Well, at least the child learns that word really quickly," she concedes. "They've seen it a thousand times."

"I struggle with finding options to 'said' in my own writing all the time," I offer. We're headed down the escalator now. "Luckily, I've found one that works better."

"What's that?" she asks.

"Moaned."

She body-blocks me into the elevator rail.

"Hey, careful with the hot chocolate!" I warn.

"Let me know if you want some," she says.

Long pause. And then I say:

"The hot chocolate, right?"

6 comments:

la fille mariée said...

"Hmmmm", I ponder. "Could Denis be any cuter?"

"Doubtful," I conclude.

LadyXandria said...

Look at you trying to be all coy. :P

I'm sure the hot was right... not so sure about the chocolate tho. Unless of course you guys are into the whole chocolate syrup thing, which is lots of fun.

Bekah said...

I like reading little snippets of your day. Very cool.

Denis Connor said...

Mariée: "I hate it when the hot onest call me cute!" he whined.

ladyxandria: You become hotter with every comment. But does the condiments-on-the-dick thing really work? Doesn't the stickiness get in the way? I mean, there's good sticky and there's bad sticky ... Or maybe this is just the "anal-retentive lover" coming out in me. And I think we're all thrilled that I keep that suppressed as much as I do.

bekah: Thanks. I'd like to do more of the snippets, but they just havent' been happening that much. (Aren't the short posts a relief after you slog through the 2,000-word entries?) If you like that kind of writing, you need to read my inspiration for such pieces: The late, great, RICHH.

Fat Controller said...

"You appear to have missed out 'he ejaculated'!", he ejaculated.

(Conan Doyle was very fond of ejaculations)

Denis Connor said...

Fat Controller:

(Conan Doyle was very fond of ejaculations)

At first I read this as "Conan O'Brien was very fond of ejaculations." My comment:

"How would he know that?" I guffawed.