28 March 2007

Tag, I'm It (I)

Sweet Bekah "tagged" me recently. I've never been tagged before, so Bekah, you took my tag cherry. I suddenly feel a strong desire to cuddle. Do you still love me? Do you think I'm pretty?

(Sorry, La fille mariée, you missed having that by a coupla hours. I'll be fulfilling your tag request in the next coupla days.)

The gig is this: I have to come up with five things about myself that I've never written (or isn't immediately obvious) here.

One would think this would be a piece of cake, but here's the rub: I completed a "100 things about me" list back in early February, and I'm waiting for "the right moment" to unleash that on you. Since this is a sex blog, my one requirement is that all posts have to be sex-related, so every one of my 100 things is about sex in some way. And that, my friends, took a seriously long time to complete.

Now I had to come up with five more! Thanks, Bekah. You're a peach.

Nevertheless, I persevered. For you. Here are five sexual things about me. Consider it a teaser for the upcoming 100-things list (which, I must say, is even juicier).

1. I've taken purity tests a number of times, dating all the way back to the first 500-question version that showed up on Usenet in 1991. I just took one again, and my score: I am 53.96% pure. I am bound and determined to get "over the hump" and slip below 50% by the end of this year!

2. I have a thing for Meredith Vieira. Shut up. I'm serious. I would totally do her. The way she flirts with male contestants on the syndicated version of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire? makes me want to audition for the show just so I can show her my "lifeline."

3. I don't really masturbate in the shower. I mean, I suppose I have, but ... it doesn't really work for me. It doesn't go anywhere. Considering my love for shower sex, this seems odd to me.

4. Not only was I involved in all the plays during my three years of high school, I was also involved in just about every group shoulder- and back-massage in which the crew and actors engaged in the wings, just offstage. We did this a lot. Like, daisy-chain massages. Looking back on this, it's hard to believe that the grown-ups nearby would allow such sensual activity to continue unabated through the entire run of our shows. I mean, didn't they know that when I was working Hallie's shoulders, I was also looking straight down her black Danskin top? Were they really that dense? I know Hallie wasn't. She loved it.

5. How am I hangin'? Usually to the right. When I'm not, you know, pull-and-sweepin'.

So I'm supposed to tag five more people. I kinda hate this part, but I better do it in case there's one of those Internet curses where if I don't follow through, something bad will happen like my testicles will break off and work their way down my pant leg. My right pant leg, as you now know.

So: amy.elle ... Lena G. ... Penelope / Odysseus ... preheated ... and WM ... You're all on. And your five things dont' have to be about sex — that's just my thing. (But it's always more fun when it is!) If you go for it, the general link above will change to that specific post on your blog.


Odysseus said...

done. no tag-backs.

la fille mariée said...

Damn. I really wanted to first you, Denis. Oh well... Bekah beat me to it fair and square.

So, I went and took the purity test (the extreme version that you had to link to from the one you linked to)... and my score was 54.99% on that purity test. You're a bigger slut that I am, apparently. Hah!

I also think that Meredith Viera is hot, by the way. Of course... she doesn't only flirt with the men, by the way.

hot & horny housewife said...

Pull & Sweepin'.....you crack me up.

Bekah said...

Thanks for participating, that was quite interesting. Looking forward to the "100" list!
I've been out with the flu, looking forward to getting back into the swing of things Monday. Happy weekend to you and yours!

Denis Connor said...

Odysseus -- Well done. And I wasn't expecting to get both of you.

I'm not sure I'm a "tagger" kinda guy. I ended up feeling a little bad for tagging the folks, but you all were good sports. Don't worry, this won't become a habit.

LFM -- Our next goal should be to find out what Meredith Vieira's purity test score might be. Something tells me she's in the 50% range too. That something would be, um, "wishful thinking."

Bekah -- Being sick sucks. That's where I am right now. I hope we're both back on top by Monday.