Showing posts with label creampie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creampie. Show all posts

02 March 2007

You're So Dirty When You're Clean.

In the shower, your lover's skin feels entirely different.

Soap up your hands. Run them over her. Slick, light, wanton. A thin sheet of soapy water between palm and chest. Slip behind her. Feel her head loll against your shoulder, catching hot rain from above, wet hair spreading, sticking to your skin. Your arms under hers. Try to hold her breasts, slick, escaping, all the more stirring. Run your slippery hands over them, make her moan softly in your ear. Wonder if this could, in any conceivable way, feel as good to her as it does to you.

On your knees. Newly soaped hands. Massage up one leg. Smooth ... She shaved this morning, she had her suspicions about tonight. Slowly up a thigh, hand-over-hand. Linger near the top, then switch legs, starting at the ankle again. This one will go much faster because, let's face it, your patience is wearing thin. Your cock so hard it barely bobs as you move. You want to grab that cunt. It's the point of water's egress, the rivulets running off and around her breasts, flashflood through the valley, cascading past her stomach, compelled to the same place you want.

The side of your hand slipping along her pussy lips. Her laugh, a mix of I-knew-it and do-that-more. She's wet, but you wonder if she's wet. Look up at her: Water bouncing off her head, with light, making a halo. Smile back at her. Turn her sideways, and now both hands work, one plays in the furrow, one slides in the crack of her ass. Wonder if spending this much time on her ass gives away your intentions. Wonder how much you care if you give yourself away.

Standing again, slick erection pressed against her back. Maybe more shampoo than you need in the palm of your hand, but this is not a moment for economy. Work fingers through her thick curls, deep into her head. From the forehead, work backwards, many fingers pressing many circles, moving to the side of the head. Again. This time, from the base of the neck, up through the thicket, too dense to reach the forehead. More. Above the ears, working hands to the queen's crown until fingers interlace. Once more. No one ever, ever follows the bottle's instructions, but tonight you will most definitely Rinse and Repeat. Hell, you may even do the conditioner twice.

Your slow pace is not sped up in any way when she reaches behind her and plays with your cock, her touch distracted, her intentions anything but.

"What about you?" she finally asks. "Don't you want to get clean?"

You are sure you look smug when you lace your fingers behind your head, spread your legs a bit, lean against the shower wall, and wait for her service ... but you go with it. After all, it's that sense of humor that caught her in the first place.

She rushes to get to your cock and balls, and then spends a lot of time there. Then one hand works underneath, between your legs, back, to your ass; she has to stoop down a little to reach, and she smiles wickedly as she does this. She wraps her arms around you, soaping your back, into scratching your back, into embracing, pushing her chest out and against you. Wet tits against soapy chest. Almost no friction at all, just silky wetness. Softer than the twined tongues.

It's a sensory banquet. Never enough. But you know it's already late. If anything else is going to happen, you'll need to get a move on.

***

We had used the guest bathroom for the shower because it's further from the kids' bedrooms. For the same reason, we moved to the guest bedroom, wearing only towels. Amy tossed off hers when she jumped in the bed. I stood on it, straddling her and instructing her to remove my towel. In no time, my knees were against her armpits and she was hungrily sucking my cock, her hands placing mine on the back of her head, an indication that she wanted me to fuck her mouth. I obliged. "Beautiful," I said. "You suck cock so well. So beautiful."

She pushed my cock between her breasts. Something she's been doing a lot recently. Not that I'm complaining. Tit fucking is one of my favorite pastimes — just like baseball and campfire songs! — and I'm fortunate to have a lover whose tits were made to be fucked. I like to linger on the upstroke, let her take the head back in her mouth, a little added lubrication, before I pull back through her cleavage again.

At some point I couldn't stand it: I had to kiss her deep, experience that hot, shower-softened mouth, lips further swollen from cocksucking, a vague taste of dick and precum. I stretched my legs out, lowered down on top of her, rubbing my cock against her cunt as we chewed each other's lips, lost in lust.

"Where do you want me to go?" I whispered. I wasn't even sure what I was asking, honestly, it just sounded good at the moment. She rolled over, offering me her ass. Really? Down I went, devouring each globe. Nipping, kissing, licking. Working toward the crack, and then away. A rush, a feint. A charge, a bluff.

We were on the verge of new territory here. I was so hungry to eat her ass, I can't even describe it. I wondered if I could control myself. But I knew there was still an uneasiness for her. I made one more move, my lips approaching her asshole. She was surprisingly relaxed. Still, I paused.

"Are you game?" I asked, my lips still partly pressed against her ass.

She laughed, and then let out an overly dramatic, nervous moan. "Mmmmmmmmmmm ... Probably not tonight, I don't think."

"No worries," I said. I masked my deep disappointment well.

"Sorry," she said between kisses, back up beside her again. "I probably gave you a mixed signal when I turned over like that. I'm not sure why I did it."

I whisper in her ear, "We won't do anything you're not ready for." And then I can't help to add: "But something tells me when you finally let me do it ... you're going to love it."

I reached behind me for the bottle of lube.

"Awwww, you came prepared!" she said.

"Slipped it in my pocket earlier tonight." I hoped I didn't sound too presumptuous. I dribbled the lube on her pussy, worked it into her lips with one hand. I encouraged her to show me how to masturbate her. "Is this too soft?"

"A little," she whispered. After a moment: "Now, too hard."

"In between that," I wondered aloud.

"Not hard, but with purpose," she said. An instruction that came off too enigmatic for me in the heat of the moment. Instead, I ask for one of her palms, fill it with lube, and put the slickened hand on my cock.

"I've been thinking a lot about you jacking me off," I said. It was true. Handjobs haven't really interested me in the past. For some reason, I haven't been able to get the image out of my head. I think it's the exhibitionistic/voyeuristic aspect of it: Handjobs, unlike most blowjobs, are delivered with eyes open, and I love when she watches me come. We continued to masturbate each other.

I hooked my arm underneath her knees, and lifted her legs. Pushed my cock into her. From that position, I could watch her almost as a third person. I encouraged her to play with herself while we fuck. She obliged, a breast in one hand, the other frigging herself. The pace was slow. Sometimes, she'd use her heels against my ass to push my cock deeper.

And the sight, the sound, the feel ... it was just too much tonight: I came very quickly, a low-key climax, where she's not even one-hundred-percent sure it really happened. She asked. "Yep, I sure did," I sighed, making no effort this time to hide disappointment.

"Well, you're going to have to go down on me and give me mine," she said. It took me by surprise — both for her bluntness, and because ... well, of course I was going to go down on her. Did she really think I'd miss a chance to eat her out?

After, as she came down off her climax, Amy asked, "So, you really don't mind going down on me with all that lube and cum?"

"You're kidding, right?" I punctuated that with another deep thrust of my tongue.

"Of course," she said. "What was I thinking. You're the guy who eats everything."

23 January 2007

TMI Tuesday #2: "Cooking with the Connors"

After a decadent day spent in bed (sorry, I was alone and sleeping -- no good stories for ya), I am recharged and ready to take on the blogosphere! Without further ado ....

1. What is a creampie?


Oh, I'm so glad someone asked. I've been wanting to share a family recipe for the longest time. Carpe diem! Don your aprons, ladies and gents! Time to make a Valentine's Day dessert to impress the most dispassionate lover.

The Connor Creampie

Ingredients:
  • 1 11-1/2-oz pkg milk chocolate pieces
  • 1/4 C. milk (plus additional)
  • Assorted fruits, cut into bite-sized pieces (such as oranges, strawberries [can be left whole], pears, bananas, apples, kiwi fruit)
  • Angel-food cake or pound cake, cut into cubes
  • Marshmallows
  • Two lovers of opposite sex, the male of which has not ejaculated for at least several hours (the longer the better)

Directions

1. Disrobe partner in kitchen and place on counter top next (but not too close) to stove.

2. Combine chocolate pieces and milk in a double boiler or heavy small saucepan over simmering water. Stirring constantly, heat over low heat. While stirring, use hands or tongue to tease partner mercilessly. Continue stirring until chocolate is melted and smooth, and partner is either "melted and smooth" or "turgid and hard," depending on gender.

3. Stir in additional milk, 1 tablespoon at a time, until reaching desired consistency. Test by cooling a spoonful, dribbling on partner's nipples, and licking or sucking off. If tongue is coated with mixture and you hear audible moans, mixture is ready.

4. Remove partner and chocolate mixture from heat. Pour chocolate mixture into fondue pot; place over fondue burner set on low on dining room table. Lay partner on dining room table, offering a pillow for increased comfort.

5. With fondue forks, dip fruit, cake cubes and marshmallows into chocolate mixture. Alternately feed partner and yourself. Resist being exceedingly careful when feeding, as any chocolate that drips on partner will be removed with tongue. (Chocolate mixture will hold up to 1 hour on low. If mixture gets too thick, add milk 1 tablespoon at a time. Good luck on you and your partner holding up for that long.)

6. Once food appetites have been sated, arrange partner on table so that you can sit between his/her legs. Cool down a scant spoonful of remaining chocolate and apply to partner's genital area. Gently but passionately remove chocolate with mouth. Be thorough with this step, but make certain that no one orgasms.

(Important: REMOVE FONDUE POT FROM TABLE before continuing with recipe!)

7. Once chocolate has been removed and partner is writhing, arrange oneself so that erect penis can be inserted into vagina. Once penis is inserted, smooth wavelike motions combined with friction-inducing massage of inner walls of vagina should commence.

8. Tenderize partner through any skill at your disposal, including (but not limited to) aerating, mixing, basting, pinching, blending, pressure cooking, searing, coddling, drizzling, folding, stewing, grinding (oh, lots of this), whipping, kneading, mashing, moistening, and marinating. Proper tenderization has been reached when partners are incapable of uttering coherent language and ejaculation of semen into vagina has commenced. Allow dish to rest for short time, still engaged. While resting, elicit exclamations such as "Jesus Christ" and "Holy Mother of God" and "That was fucking unbelievable" into each other's ears.

9. Disengage male and arrange in dining room chair. Arrange female on table, with vagina facing male's face. Butterfly female's legs. Allow male to take in the heady aroma and glorious feast before him.

10. With religious exuberance, male will lick, eat, and mash face into vagina, until such time as vagina has been cleaned of all juices or partners simply can't stand it any longer and need to fuck again.


Yield: 5 (1/4-cup) fondue servings, multiple orgasms, and one creampie.

By the way, I've just created the first recipe ever to use the word "mercilessly." You're welcome.


2. Once a cheater, always a cheater. True or false... why?

Damn. I hate getting heavy after transcribing that recipe. I'm going to say, with some reservation, that this is false. To say that the statement is true assumes that humans are incapable of changing, and that's too depressing a statement to put on humanity. I must, as an article of faith, believe that we are capable of realizing that mistakes we've made are destructive and that we can choose to not go down those dark roads multiple times.


3. Where is the female G spot and how do you find it?

Oh, this one's easy. It's on this web page. Click the link and you've found it.


4. Is there a correlation between shoe size and penis size?

Absolutely. I thought this was common knowledge, but for those few of you who aren't familiar with it, here's the formula:


where "n" is penis size and "k" is shoe size.


5. Can women have wet dreams?

Only when they dream about David Hasselhoff and Shar Pei puppies.


Bonus
(as in optional): Take a wild guess, how many calories are in a man's average ejaculation?

Oh God. I knew this a long time ago. It's low. I'll say ... 40 calories.

Party on, Wayne.